Before I became a nurse, I thought “self-care” was just a buzzword — something people talked about when they meant bubble baths and early nights. I had no idea how deeply this job can get under your skin, or how essential it is to actively look after yourself between shifts.

A busy shift with multiple sick patients, moments where you have to think and act decisively, or even a cardiac arrest — these experiences don’t just vanish when you take your uniform off. Some days you drive home and your mind is still on the ward. You replay moments. You wonder if you could have done something differently. And that’s okay — it means you care. But it also means you need strategies to recover properly.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Healthcare workers witness some of the most difficult moments imaginable — things the general public rarely see up close. Over time, even small, difficult moments add up. This isn’t about being “soft” or “not cut out for the job.” It’s about being human.

I’ve seen newly qualified nurses go through two exceptionally hard days back-to-back and need significant time off to recover. This isn’t common, but it does happen — and it’s why understanding support early on matters. The earlier you learn to look after yourself, the better equipped you are to keep looking after patients for the long term.

I used to think I was one of those people who could just “unpack things myself.” I started as a catering assistant on the wards — I’d seen difficult things, I thought I was tough. I learned I was wrong. A traumatic cardiac arrest, a patient you’ve built a real relationship with dying, or situations where you wish more could have been done — these all take their toll eventually. And that’s okay. Recognising it is the first step to looking after yourself.

Look After Your Team — They’re Looking After You

My view on this is stronger than most: we have a duty to look after each other. Whether you click with every colleague or not, you all go through the same experiences. You see the same things. You feel the same pressure.

It doesn’t take grand gestures to make a difference:

• A 5-minute debrief: After a difficult event, just pausing together to say “that was hard” can stop things from bottling up.
• A quick check-in message: A short email or note to those involved — “thinking of you, come and find me if you want to talk” — can mean everything.
• Tea, coffee, and a biscuit: Grabbing the team a drink and giving people space to vent, ask questions, or even have a cry (it happens more than you’d think) — this is real teamwork.
• Normalise talking: When you say “I found that shift difficult,” you give others permission to say it too.

Knowing your team cares about your wellbeing makes hard shifts bearable. Unfortunately, not every team works like this — which is why it’s so important to know what support is available to you, regardless of where you work.

The Support Available to You

Almost every NHS trust has dedicated services for staff wellbeing. These are not just for “senior” staff or for when things have gone drastically wrong. They are for everyone — from catering assistants and cleaners to nurses, doctors, and chief executives. If you witnessed something difficult, you are entitled to support.

Trauma Response & Staff Support Teams

Many trusts have specialist trauma response teams or staff support services. These are people trained specifically to help healthcare workers process difficult experiences. They can help you unpack things you didn’t even realise were affecting you, give you practical coping strategies, and guide you to further support if needed.

Find out who your trust’s support team are before you need them. Save the number. Know how to refer yourself. When you’re in the middle of a difficult time, the last thing you want to be doing is searching for contact details.

Hospital Chaplains — More Than You Might Think

There’s a common misconception that chaplains are only there for religious support or to say prayers. That’s not the whole picture. Hospital chaplains support people of all faiths and none — staff and patients alike. They are trained listeners, and many nurses I know have found great comfort in talking to them after difficult shifts.

I’ve known chaplains arrange daily visits for staff who needed ongoing support, whether religious or not. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to listen — without judgement, without paperwork, without being part of the hierarchy — can help you start to process things.

Practical Ways to Recover Between Shifts

Everyone unwinds differently, but these are strategies I’ve seen work for nurses at all stages of their careers:

Final Thought

This isn’t written to scare you about the career you’re entering. It’s written to prepare you. Nursing is an extraordinary privilege — you’ll share moments with people and their families that most people never see. Some of those moments are joyful beyond words. Some are incredibly hard. Both are part of the job.

You don’t have to carry the hard parts alone. Look after your colleagues. Know where to find support. And most importantly — be kind to yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your patients deserve the best version of you — the rested, supported, human version.